remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
