Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize