Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I want her autograph on my taint
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize