Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
