No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
