I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
