Your mouth is God's brothel.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
