Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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