C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
