But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
