Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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