She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
