Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
how drunk are you?
Several
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
