so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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