HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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