doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
