Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
