My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
