I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
