ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
