and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
