I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
