I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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