I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
