Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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