i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
