You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
