She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
