Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
