Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
