I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
