I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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