Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
