after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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