i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize