Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
