I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize