I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
