2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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