Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
