Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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