I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
