were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
