I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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