that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
