I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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