is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
