his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize