sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
