Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
