Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
