something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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