whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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