Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Who died my cat blue again?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
