your thong is hanging out like whoa
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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