so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
