Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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