I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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